When I chose to have my second baby at home in England many years ago, I was warned by the Doctors that it was a very foolish thing to do and that I was risking not only my life, but the life of my unborn baby as well. Being a determined young woman, I decided I would have my baby at home. But also being anxious to please the Doctors, I set about making the bedroom as much like a hospital as possible. The result was the worst of both worlds.
The same difficulty can arise when creating the working environment at home. It is hard to find ways of making use of the facilities that are already there without feeling slightly guilty. There is inside most of us a puritanical self who has a built-in division between work and home, and when that divide is no longer defined by leaving the home to go out to work, the blurring of boundaries which takes place can cause great anxiety.
Thomas dealt with this anxiety when he first set up his office at home by firmly closing his door at 9:00 AM, and apart from allowing himself a half hour lunch break, he did not emerge until 6:00 PM. Not only was he extremely isolated and lonely, but so also were his children and his wife who felt excluded from the office. The divide between home and work became Thomas' door which took on the psychological proportions of the Iron Curtain.
Evelyn dealt with the divide in quite the opposite way. She allowed herself no office door, and tried to be in the two places at once. This meant such a blurring of boundaries that she rapidly started to lose her identity. It was only when she found herself putting the business plan into the washing machine that she decided something had to be done about the situation.
We need to be able to recognise our inner and outer resources and to realise that it is possible to have a coffee with a neighbour or take the dog for a walk without losing our capacity to do a full day's work. We need to understand and help our families to understand that sometimes the door has to be closed in order to establish that sense of working self which is so important to our sense of identity, and we need to be aware that working from home affects the whole family.
Loneliness can come from thinking you are the only one battling with the uncomfortable feelings associated with establishing a new working routine — you are not. More and more people are establishing their work place at home and finding practical ways to combat loneliness.
© Pauline Hodson